Broke

I am so sick of my husband sometimes. We keep all of our finances seperate. Which isn't a problem so to speak, but I'm in school and I make a lot less than he does. I have no problem contributing most of what I make to our home. I buy groceries and all of our toiletries and buy things to fix up the house and even pay about 1/4 of utilites. However, every time we argue, it's his house, his cars, his everything. I'm not allowed to even use the car without asking, other than for work. I'm tired of it. He never takes me to do anything and we always fight about money. He is a saver 100% and I am a saver and a spender. I don't use credit cards or rack up debt or anything stupid, but I do like to buy a cheap shirt @ walmart from time to time. Now I'm faced with a really big problem...I'm in college part time, and my internship starts in 6 months. I won't be able to work. My husband is so in love with his own money, that I'm probably going to have to quit school. He won't help me out for a measly 6 months while I finish my internship. The financial issues has taken a real toll on our marriage. I can't deal with it. It's like I'm not good enough for his money or something. Now my hours @ my job have been cut in half and he still expects me to put in just as much as I was and I'm broke all the time now. I am so stressed out about this I hate even looking at him. I don't even know what I want to do at this point. I've never had access to his money and if I've ever needed any from him, I've had to pay every last dime back. I thought that marriage was supposed to be different than this. I'm truly sick of it. I don't think I'm being selfish either. He has a very healthy checking account with what equals my yearly income in it. He also has retirement accounts and another checking account he thinks I don't know about. I am on the verge of leaving again. We live more like room mates than we do a couple. What's the freaking point? I think this is a waste of my time.

I am so fed up with some T.V. My husbands favorite show is "Sons of Anarchy." I hate that crap. At first I kept my mouth shut and dealt with my husband watching it. I told him I just don't see the difference in this biker movie & the thugs off of gangland. He says it's different, but whatever. So I watched the last show I could stand a few weeks ago when one of the girls was kidnapped, tied up and gang raped. That was it for me. It was all I could do not to get up out of my seat and go smack the stupid off my husbands face. I am not kidding. Who in the heck watches crap like that? It's wrong. Yes. Even though it is a T.V. show. If you can sit and watch something like that...you got issues!!!
How is it even remotely acceptable to watch something so violent and almost unspeakable! I was mad for 3 days. I really was. I try really hard not to go to bed mad, but the next mornings, I just woke up so angry at him for enjoying this show. I had nightmares for a week. Maybe it's just me, I don't know. I personally think that show should be cancelled. Not only is it not appropriate for kids, but it isn't appropriate for adults either. How is that type of episode ever ok? I haven't watched a single episode where someone didn't get killed or something extremely violent happen. I mean, what about the episode where they held this guys arms and cut his testicles off with a pocket knife? It's not right.
My husband is always talking about gangs and black and mexicans and their awful gangs. I don't get it. The only difference is that these bikers are white and on "Ganglands" they aren't. He don't see that. He thinks because they are white they have a purpose for doing what they do...they have a "code" they live by.
Uumm...It's 2009. If you are still racist, you are just ignorant.
Reguardless though. This show is awful and I'm sick of even knowing that it shows once a week!

I went to get my hair done yesterday, finally. I used to have to drive all the way to the next county to get to a good salon, so I was excited when one of the girls from there opened her own place here in my town. Well, I was. So I go in there and she does a really great job on my hair cut but that was it. She didn't fix it or anything. She just cut it. Why would I want to pay for a cut and not get it styled? That's crazy. I actually had to go home and style it myself. Who runs a business like that? This is only the 3nd time I seen this particuar girl. I got a perm from her about 2 years ago and she did the same thing. (sort of) When she finished my hair she never moused it or styled it. I just assumed that she didn't do that when she done perms. I was wrong. She doesn't do it at all.
Now she has the nerve to stand around and gossip about how bad of a job the other girl does. Atleast she finishes her job!? I mean crap! When I go and pay money to have my hair done, I want it done right. I guess I will just be going back to my regular girl. It's so hard to find a good stylist. UGH!!!

Check out my newest blog addition.

http://harleysinbox.blogspot.com/

This is a collection of different emails I get.

I finally got registered for my fall classes yesterday morning!! I had to register late because of my new schedule these days and I pretty much had to take what was available in my area of study. I ended up with a wednesday morning class and a saturday morning class. The really crazy part is one class is on one campus about 20 minutes frome my house and the other on the main campus 45 minutes away from my house. I'm not very excited about this, but it's ok. I'm really looking forward to getting these last few classes done anyways.
Now, the way my schedule at work is set up, I have every other saturday off, and on the other saturdays I work a 12 hour shift. Now that my class will be every saturday, some changes are being made to my work schedule. My co-worker is NOT happy. This means that we both have to work EVERY saturday now. She will have to work from 8-2 and I will be working 2-8.
Instead of addressing the real issue at hand, she cusses me out because I put sour cream on my baked potato and not butter. Crazy and confusing, I know!!
I'm not going to repeat the words she used, but it was ugly. I couldn't help but to bust out laughing because it was so rediculous. Ofcourse, that lit her fire a little more. I do feel bad that we both have to work every saturday now, but she shouldn't have talked to me like that. I didn't really say anything to her because I felt that in this situation it was best for me to let it go and let her calm down.
I apolagized to her when I showed her my schedule, but she was still upset. When we were referred to this job, she was told the same thing I was.....You MUST be willing to work weekends and evenings. I know that's no excuse, but it IS a requirement of our job. Our office is open 12 hours a day and we split that evenly amongst the 2 of us.
Besides all of this I have worked a 12 hour shift every saturday for the past month because she had other things she wanted to do and places to go with her family. How can she expect me to have her back but when the tables are turned, she can't do the same? I'm not complaining about haveing to work for her because I don't mind. I would like to have the same respect too though. This is only for 3 months and then things will go back to normal. We should both be willing to work together on things like this.

I'm going to change  things up tonight. I don't have anything getting on my nerves or anything to complain about believe it or not, lol. In this past year I have gone through so much. I have left my husband, filed for divorce, {thought} I had a really good girlfriend, and didn't, had to work a really crappy job...I am so blessed. I really am. Sometimes I forget all of this too. The Lord has really blessed me! My husband and I have gotten back into church and gotten back together, I've somehow gotten an awesome job making really good money. I have a wonderful home and don't have to live my life struggling from week to week anymore. I'm able to go to college for a second time and I just don't have anything to complain about today. I am so guilty of complaining about so much crap in my life, it is just wrong. I need to take the time and be thankful for what I do have and the great people in my life now. Sometimes I really lose sight of the really important things in my life and tend to need a reality check. Sometimes I forget about what is really important and  worry about insignificant bothers.
My husband and I have recently gotten back into church again and our relationship is soooooo much better than it has ever been. I'm not saying all of our problems have dissappeared, not by a chance. I'm just saying, it has gotten so much better. The only problem is that I'm Pentacostal and he is Baptist. Therefore, we do go to different churches, although, I truly believe it's saved our marriage. The Lord works in mysterious ways....even when you think he's not working in your life at all.!!
I've lost so much in my life due to my naevity and just plain stupidity. A lot of times I wish that I could just go back to being 13. Be honest now, who hasnt't???
If I went back to 13 though, that would erase everything I love in my life..would I really want to give that up? It would erase all my "highshcool sweethearts" and last but not least.........my children. I had my babygirl....my first when I was 17. I smile when I even think about her & my other children.
I'm not saying my soul purpose on earth was to bear children, but WOW, it was a blessing!!!
I miss the 3am feedings and 5am playtime.
I had children at 17, 18, 20 & 21.
My husband and I have tried for over a year and have not been able to conceive. It is soo depressing. When I was 21 I lost my 4th baby @ aprox 5 months. I never dealt with it until this year. It was hard. I had to LEARN to submit my problems to the Lord and quit trying to deal with them on my own, Trust me it doesn't work. The ONLY way to truly be delivered from your problems is to give them to  GOD.
I've taken the long way around this too. I've always thought of myself as strong and independent. It's hard to humble yourself before anyone, reguardles of who or when or how.
I'm still saddened of the loss of my child. I don't know if that will ever change. I do know that my baby is in a better place than I am now. He's with the Lord. That's a great thing. Somehow, deep inside that makes me happy. I know that in time that Jesus will make this all right and that everything is and will be ok.
That's what I tell myself every day. I believe the Lord and I truly believe that everything in the end will all work itself out. I'm going to have faith, even in times when most's faith would be shaky. I can't explain the "good luck" that I've had......but I have my personal thoughts, and that's for sure.

I am so sick of people sometimes! There's all these people fussing about government healthcare....and they are on medicaid. Seriously? They've got to be joking, right? What are they fussing about? They already have free healthcare. I don't get it. If the government put a stop to all these free-loading losers sitting on their butts in their government funded homes, with there food stamps and welfare, this country would probably be in a little better shape. I'm not talking about people in need of SHORT-TERM assistance either. I'm talking about people who recieve food stamps, welfare, TANF, and free housing for years and years. It's not fair that we have to foot the bill for this crap.
We finish high school, go to college, earn our way to a good career. Why can't they? It's hard, but not impossible. Then again, they get everything for free. Why would they WANT to do something for themselves, right? I guess it's much easier to be the leeches of society considering the overwhelming amount of people doing it.
I bet that if the government had to pay this bill without the taxpayers money, this wouldn't be going on. However, since WE work for it, and it's no water off THEIR backs, it's ok to let these dead beats suck us dry.
I'm just sick and freaking tired of hearing every one of them complain and belly ache. They act like the world "owes" them something?!! You shouldn't bite the hand that feeds you. Without all of us who actually done something with ourselves, they wouldn't have anything because politicians certainly aren't going to dig it out of their pockets!

I just started another section of this blog just for my favorite websites. Please check them out when you can. I don't have many up yet but over time I will add many more. Some of them are even sites where you can earn a few extra dollars and some are shopping sites with really good deals.
http://harleysfavs.blogspot.com/


BrowseBlogs.com

Get Real!!

O.k, so me and my husband went to Applebee's last week for lunch. We haven't went there in almost a year. The closest one to us is like an hour away, plus, we really only go out on special occasions. (my hubby is so cheap, he's had the same wallet for years!) So, we go eat and this place used to be a great place to eat! I loved their food. Wow, how things have changed. I ordered the steak and he gets ribs. I could have done a better job at home with a $3 peice of meat and a frying pan.
Obviously restaurants are cutting back in order to make more money now that minimum wage has gone up. So they lower the quality of the food and jack up the prices a little more. Who the heck wants to pay more for less??? I don't. I think this whole thing is getting out of hand. Combos at fast food restaurants are $7 a person and you get less than you did when it was $5 a person.
I understand that these places want to make a profit, but let's get real! Restaurants make millions of dollars each year. They are getting greedier as each day passes. Why not keep the same food that people love so much? Would it really kill them to make only 5 million a year instead of 6 million?
On top of all this, working in restaurants is actually harder than most think. I spent 4 years working in the food service industry, 2 as a manager. Most of the people working are getting crappy hours, work for 2 people, and crappy pay. Could you rude snobby people out there cut these girls and guys a break sometimes? If they are nice and respectful, return the favor! If they give good sevice, tip them appropriately! Screw what Oprah says! These people are trying to make a living too.

Intro...

So, I have a lot of opinions. Who doesn't, right? O.k, so mine are pretty strong. In this blog I've created I'm going to be giving my opinion on anything I feel like. That includes the news, local things, people, places, whatever. I work with the public 6 days a week and people are crazy. Unfortunately, I have to be nice or be unemployed. I choose nice....until I can make it home and write what's on my mind. Gotta love the internet!

Harley